Hannah Johary. 32. Kuala Lumpur.

Facebook | Instagram

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Goodbye Previous Life

Salam Saturday everyone! How are you today? Moga semua blog readers sentiasa dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik oleh Allah SWT.


As for us, we are just great, Alhamdulillah. I am great. So it Mett. So are the girls! Rindu sangatkah kamu pada Myiesha dan Tihani? Nah, take a dose of their photos first before I continue. Tatap lama-lama sampai hilang rindu, OK? :D


Photobucket


OK berhenti membuntangkan mata sekarang! HAHAHA!


Life

Life is as always. Busy as a bee. Working. Managing the household. Managing the kids. I think I am better now. Apabila di office, I give 100% focus to work. During lunch time and after work, I dedicate my time to pump milk. As soon as I reach home, my husband and daughters are my everything. I spend time with them, talk to them, play with them. I have a good time with them everyday despite all the tiredness at work. But I feel that I am more energetic now like this. Always full of spirit and happy. As usual, I give my all, and I believe Allah always returns back my all.


The key to this: Always be happy. Do the things you love to do - consistently (like me, eating good food and shop for clothes is my therapy!). And be a bit selfish sometimes. Saya pernah go through a phase in life whereby I sacrifice everything to see the people I love - happy. I thought the more I sacrifice, the better things will be. Saya ingatkan dengan mengorbankan kepentingan diri sendiri, kepentingan orang yang saya sayangi akan dipenuhi. Saya ingatkan dengan mengorbankan kegembiraan saya sendiri, orang yang saya sayangi akan gembira. I thought if I lose, people will gain.


But no, it was a lose-lose situation.


I have gone through this many times. Yang mana saya korbankan segala-galanya sampai saya tidak ada apa-apa lagi. I thought things will improve. But, no. Apabila saya korbankan segala-galanya sampai saya tidak apa-apa lagi, I will be very depressed. Saya akan jadi sangat sedih. Saya akan jadi sangat emotional. I will cry all the time. And as a result, suami dan anak-anak jadi mangsa. Asyik kena masam muka, asyik kena marah. In the end, bukan saya korbankan kegembiraan sendiri untuk melihat orang lain gembira, but I have caused everyone untuk tidak gembira! Haha!


So saya tukar strategi. I try to be a bit selfish. I keep some happiness for myself. I do things that make me happy. And I see that things change. Because only when I am happy I can make the people I love - happy. And this is what matters the most. Lose some, but gain more. This is what I learn. Things have to be balanced. Saya hanya manusia, saya bukannya malaikat. I have to take care of myself first before I can take care of people. When I am physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy then only I can take care of my family, play with my kids, and be happy.


Work

Mett just got promoted from Admin Assistant to HSE Executive of Syabas daerah Hulu Langat effective October 1st, 2012. And I also got confirmed in my new job effective on the same date. Alhamdulillah! Kami sama-sama happy dan bersyukur gila.


Work is great so far. I am lucky to be blessed with such good workplaces since my first job sampailah sekarang. No matter how bad it is, I always have good, happening colleagues. Tempat kerja sekarang, my immediate boss adalah sangat garang seperti Miranda from the film The Devil Wears Prada. Serious garang and horrifying! Kalau dia tanya soalan, jawapan depan mata pun boleh tidak nampak. Sampai berpeluh-peluh. Sampai menggigil satu badan. She is garang like that. But she is also the kindest person on earth. Kalau kita faham cara kerja dia, we would understand that whatever she does, semuanya adalah untuk kebaikan kerja kita, dan juga diri kita sendiri. Dia tidak pernah ada niat tidak baik sengaja hendak marah-marah kita di hadapan orang or what. Everything is because of work, and she is very professional. Kalau kita juga professional, banyak sangat yang kita dapat belajar daripadanya. If we are not, sudah tentu kita akan rasa dia sengaja hendak cari pasal dengan kita dan sengaja cari salah kita hendak kenakan kita. Ramai juga ex-staff yang rasa macam itu. But I believe it all depends on us. Kalau kita OK, kalau kita bersangka baik, sebenarnya tidak ada apa-apa pun.


Dalam 3 months ini ada juga saya pernah kena marah kaw-kaw. But Alhamdulillah, the 6 years in Customer Service line has prepared me for all this. Maki lah saya macam mana pun. Menjerit pekik lah pada saya macam mana pun. Marah lah saya sampai hendak keluar tahi telinga pun, I am immune. Not to say 100% immune lah, saya tetap akan rasa down dan emotional segala. But I can control. I can manage. Sesungguhnya plan Allah itu yang terbaik, kan? Semua jalan hidup kita, susah atau senang, semuanya diaturkan dengan sangat cantik sekali. ;)


Plans

To celebrate this good news, I have shopped for some clothes and a platform wedges sandal. Sudah lama tidak pakai kasut tinggi, woh! Last pakai was on the first trimester mengandungkan Myiesha, kot? After that hanya flats menjadi kawan baik sampai ke hari ini. Since Myiesha dan Tihani sudah semakin membesar, I think I want to start melawa-lawa once again. Dress up nicely. Wear make up. Wear platform wedges. Wear a handbag! Dengan confirm-nya saya di tempat kerja baru ini, saya rasa sudah agak secure juga untuk saya say goodbye to my old boring clothes and start ber-shopping-shopping once again. Mati lah if Mett reads this, HAHA!


Ahh I really need to melawa-lawa once again. Umur baru 28, anak baru dua, takkan hendak sudah hendak jadi makcik-makcik, kot? :D


I think I want to start to put a fullstop to my previous life. Segala penat lelah. Susah payah. Segala pengorbanan yang tidak habis-habis itu. Cukuplah 3 tahun setengah mengikat perut, bersengkang mata. I want to start to live life to the fullest. To reward myself. To give the best to my daughters. To be happy. And in the same time, to work harder for my family. Sebagaimana Mett sentiasa mencari jalan untuk menaiktaraf kehidupan kami dengan menyambung pelajarannya, I have to find my own way too. Life is still so long ahead, but I am glad hari ini kami telah melepasi fasa pertama dalam perkahwinan, which is the introduction part. Sesi suai kenal. Wah suai kenal pun sampai 3 tahun setengah kah, HJ? Yaaaaa! Kamu-kamu yang baru kahwin setahun jagung, kalau rasa married life is like so miserable, so tough, so unbearable, you are just in the introduction year, OK?


Hold on to it. Hold on tightly. Be strong. Be brave. And you will pass through. Hidup berumahtangga memang penuh dengan cabaran. Daripada cabaran dengan partner, duit, family, sampailah ke anak-anak. It is tough. But always remember, walau apapun yang kamu buat, ingatlah niat kamu berkahwin itu. Dan perkahwinan yang paling indah adalah jika kamu berkahwin kerana mengharapkan pahala dan keredhaan Allah. Saya pun sama, asal ada benda susah sedikit mesti rasa macam eh if I don't get married mesti I can do this and this and this. It is normal. Always remember, kita hanya manusia. But the most important thing is, how you overcome it. Learn from experience and your mistakes, dan insyaAllah semuanya akan OK.


Quoted from my Miranda boss, dia bilang if you see a sun, grab it and hold on to it firmly, until you see another sun. That is when you jump. But be careful, because the next sun might be a fake one.


I hope this happiness is not fake.

23 comments:

  1. Comel sangat anak2 akak. Muka sama dua2. hehe.

    Semoga terus success. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. HJ, susah dulu, senang kemudian kan.
    congrats.comel nya tihani..dah besar dah. =)

    ReplyDelete
  3. gerammnye tengok myiesha n Tihani!!! rasa nak geget! haha..

    tq for this post HJ. Everytime u post something, it is as if u were talking to me! Gosh! Do u hv a psychic power? hihi.. keep on writing dear! will definitely look forward for ur nxt post :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. akhirnya...lama tau tunggu entri panjang lebar macam ni dari Hj..hahaha..puas baca..:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi HJ, love ur post..love ur outlook on life~ i can definitely relate to most of ur post ni. especially agree with the part where we kene be a bit selfish tu :p wishing u and ur family the very best! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love ur post....yanz selalu bukak and tgk xde yg baru.but this is the time start reading ur post again,again and again......

    So adorable ur princess..muahahahah from aunty yanz

    ReplyDelete
  7. yeayyyyy.. yeyeyeye ada entry dari HJ tersayang.. suke sungguh baca entry2 hj yg berkualiti yg seperti mewakili perasaan cara hidup wanita2 muda golongan pertengahan.. xde rasa meriak membangga diri.. tq hj, rajin2 lahh update ok.. kurang gamba takpe tp yg penting pengisian yg ditulis.. semoga hidup hj sekeluarga diberkati-Nya :)

    ps :muah pp myiesha n tihani..

    -saza-

    ReplyDelete
  8. ya..kita hidup mesti mengembirakan diri sendiri. mengharapkan orang lain belum tentu lagi dapat..jangan terlalu memikirkan sesuatu dengan rumit..bersantailah saja mengharungi hidup ini...

    ReplyDelete
  9. u have gone through ups and downs in life... and yet u deserve this real happiness Kak! :') (tangisan gembira)

    ReplyDelete
  10. =)

    The gegirls bertambah-tambah comel.


    Pssst, kalau HJ happy, saya pun tompang happy bersama.

    .Dakpink.

    ReplyDelete
  11. sesuatu yg indah untuk di kenang..thanks for the motivation hannah..

    ReplyDelete
  12. congrats to both of you =)

    bagus Hannah...permulaan gembira adalah drp diri kita dulu. then baru org lain..

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks to you for motivation story of ur life which inspired me....keep it up! Allah selalu ada utk kita....

    ReplyDelete
  14. HJ,May Allah bless u..everytime read ur enti pasti akan membuatkan rasa semangat,hilang sedih,rasa happy..moga HJ sentiasa gembira di smping Hubby tercinta u dgn 2 babies yg sgt adorable..

    p/s:Tiada jodoh nak terserempak HJ di OUG

    ReplyDelete
  15. yeahhhhhhhh kita pun nak jugak melawa2 kan Hannah walaupun ada anak. hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  16. ya allah!!!babe.....tihani comellllllllll sangat nehhh....

    adehhh nih yg rese balik kang......"b!!!!nak bby gal!!!!!"

    hihihihihihi

    ReplyDelete
  17. Jeles dgn HJ sbb pandai susun ayat utk buat cerita yg mcm ni.bila baca kita rasa enjoy dan faham apa yg u nak sampaikan...nak belajar menulis dgn HJ la....hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  18. comelnye tihani!!!!nk gigit skit pipi tu

    ReplyDelete
  19. congrats to both of you for the new job!and say hi to mett. we are in the same field for God's sake! =) Safety First!hehe..

    ReplyDelete
  20. cute sgt si tecik tu..ada akzema?ehm..anak sy pun alergi jugak..tak leh minum susu lembu..so we'll try give her susu kambing..alhamdulillah..sgt ok..and kulit dalam 1 thn minum..dah mula cantik..tak kasar2 and merah2 lagi..now dia dah umur 2 thn 9bln..

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sangat sangat agree when you talked about marriage. Orang-orang yang baru kahwin jangan cepat2 nak quit je. The more challenges you face together the closer you become.

    4 years 4 months and counting :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. hannah. where are you..meh le buat n3 baru hokey..

    ReplyDelete

Hannah Johary loves reading comments!